Question

近几年，扬州变化很大，成功创建了全国文明城市(National Civilized City)。假如你叫李磊，作为中学生的你一方面因为扬州可喜的变化感到自豪，另一方面也看到了作为一个全国文明城市还需要进一步改进的地方。在此，你向谢市长写一封信反映这些情况并提出你的一些建议。

变化	1. 人民生活很大改善； 2. 出行越来越方便； 3. ……
问题	1. 学校附近的道路拥挤 2.. 部分市民不排队上车 3. ……
建议	…… （至少三点）

要   求：1）表达清楚，语法正确，上下文连贯；
2）必须包括表格中所有的相关信息，并适当发挥；
3）词数：100词左右（征文的开头已给出，不计入总词数）；
4）不得使用真实姓名、校名和地名等。
Dear Mayor Xie,
I really hope that you can read my letter. Yangzhou has built herself into a national civilized city. As a citizen of Yangzhou, I feel proud of it. To make Yangzhou a better city, I want to do something for it.
I’m amazed that great changes have taken place in our city in the past few years._________
                                                                     
                                                                     
I hope my letter is of some help to improve Yangzhou and make it a better city in the future.
Yours sincerely,
Li Lei

Answer 1

Dear Mayor Xie,
I really hope that you can read my letter. Yangzhou has built herself into a national civilized city. As a citizen of Yangzhou, I feel proud of it. To make Yangzhou a better city, I want to do something for it.
I’m amazed that great changes have taken place in our city in the past few years. People’s lives have improved greatly. It is much easier to get into or out of the city because railway station, airport and BRT have been in use. What’s more , the city is becoming cleaner and tidier and looks very beautiful.
However, there are lots of things that we need to improve. The streets near schools are always crowded and some people don’t wait in line when they get on the bus. Besides, there will be more and more old people who need caring for.
I think we can try to do something to make them better. In my opinion, firstly, we should encourage students to ride to school instead of going to school by car. Secondly, people should be educated to be a good citizen and some volunteers are needed to keep order at the bus stop. Thirdly, more homes for the elderly need to be built in the next few years.
I hope my letter is of some help to improve Yangzhou and make it a better city in the future.

试题分析：这是一篇给材料作文，本文已经给出了主要写作要点，动笔前要先认真阅读要点，然后围绕要点适当发挥。写作中，应注意描述的全面性，尽量将提示的内容利用上；结合材料内容，可知本文主要是第一人称，一般现在时态进行叙述。语言的表述应该符合语法的结构，造句应该符合英语的表达习惯。适当使用连词，做到上下文联系紧密，符合逻辑关系。
【亮点说明】这篇短文使用了大量的固定句式和短语，为文章增色不少。如:that引导的宾语从句I really hope that you can read my letter；I’m amazed that great changes；强调句式It is adj for sb to do sth，做某事对某人来说怎么样等。连词however及副词firstly等的使用是本文看起来更加条理清楚，符合逻辑关系。学习中注意总结,牢记一些固定句式及短语,写作时就可以适当引用, 让文章更出彩。