为实现我们的梦想而行动起来吧 | |
要点提示 | 素材串联(参考词汇、句型) |
引出主题 | 我们每个人都有梦想,但是我们如何实现自己的梦想呢(realize our dreams)? |
Frank为自己的梦想所做的努力 | 1. 弗兰克十五岁时梦想当一名医生,但现在他六十岁了,他整天躺在床上,还想成为一名医生(dream to be a doctor)。 2. 弗兰克只是生活在梦想中,而没有为之做出任何努力,这就是他没有实现梦想的原因(live in,without any actions)。 |
自己会为梦想做些什么 | 1. 希望长大以后,成为一名工程师(grow up)。 2. 我每天会努力学习,并且提高应对以后工作的能力(study hard,improve abilities to)。 |
中国梦 | 民族团结,国家富强,人民幸福。 |
词数80~100。
We all have our dreams, but how to realize our dreams.
We all have our dreams, but how to realize our dreams. Frank wanted to become a doctor when he was 15 years old. Now he is sixty, and still lies in bed, dreaming to be a doctor. Frank is only living in the dream, but he doesn’t do anything to realize his dream. This is the reason why his dream doesn’t come true.
I have a dream, too. I want to be an engineer when I grow up. I will study hard every day and try to improve abilities to deal with future work. That way my dream can come true.
Our country has a dream. That is national unity, strong country and people live a happy life. We must try our best to realize our Chinese Dream.
【解析】
试题分析:这篇作文要求我们以如何实现梦想为话题写一篇作文。作文应主要包括三个方面。首先是一个反例,说的是Frank,他虽然有梦想,但是他从来没有为梦想努力过,我们不能这样;第二方面是说一说自己的梦想,以及自己想要如何实现梦想;最后说一说我们的中国梦。我们需要按照题目的要求,用正确的英语将这些内容表达出来。梦想这一话题是学生们比较熟悉的,平时的学习中所涉及的这方面的词汇和短语,积累得也比较多,因此学生在写作时不会感到没有话说。但是要想把这些内容表达得准确,并且还能使意思连贯、流畅,这就需要多下功夫了。我们需要注意长短句的结合,把握文章的节奏,另外,通过多使用好的句型,来使文章流畅。
【亮点说明】这是一篇比较优秀的范文。作者按照题目的要求,将表格中所列举的内容用正确的英语表达了出来。没有语言错误,意思表达得也很清楚。首先作者把Frank 的例子告诉了我们,Frank is only living in the dream, but he doesn’t do anything to realize his dream.接下来作者讲述了自己的梦想,I have a dream, too. I want to be an engineer when I grow up.以及作者如何实现梦想,I will study hard every day and try to improve abilities to deal with future work. That way my dream can come true;最后作者提到了我们的中国梦。中国梦的实现也需要我们每个人真正的付诸行动的。整篇短文意思连贯,语音准确,使用好的句型和短语较多。
考点:提纲类作文。
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