| 现象 | |||
| 弊端 | 1.…影响和家人与朋友的关系(relationship) 2.…可能增加交通事故的危险 3.…对健康有害,不利于学习和工作 | ||
| 观点 | 事实上,面对面交流更加便利并胜过网上聊天.手机对于现代生活确实有帮助且极为重要,但是要正确利用手机,从而成为健康的使用者而不要成为低头族. | ||
分析 本文要求按图表提示,以"Refuse to be phubbers"为题作文.短文重点是两个方面,一是现象与弊端:揭示现代人用手机的恶习及其产生的危害;二是观点与方式:告诉人们怎样正确的使用手机,利用好这个现代的通讯工具.短文主要用一般现在时态.第三人称或第一称形式.
高分句型:
①Some children want to play with smart-phones before sleeping.在睡觉之前,一些孩子想玩手机.句子中want to do sth想做某事,后面跟to引导的不定式短语;play with玩,玩耍,后面跟名词或者代词.
②In fact,face-to-face conversations are much more conventient and better than chatting on line by phone.事实上,面对面交流更加便利并胜过网上聊天.句子中in fact事实上,实际上,face-to-face 面对面,much more conventient 更加方便,much修饰比较级more conventient;on line 在网上.
解答 Refuse to be phubbers
With the development of the Internet,smart-phones are widely used among people.Phubbers can be seen here and there.(低头族phubbers社会现象的出现)
Some family members play with their smart-phones while eating with families instead of talking with them.It has effects on the relationship between them.Some people look at their smart-phones while walking even riding or driving.It may increase the danger of causing traffic accidents.Some children want to play with smart-phones before sleeping.(高分句型) It's bad for their health and their study.(低头族现象的弊端)
In fact,face-to-face conversations are much more conventient and better than chatting on line by phone.Mobile phones are helpful and necessary tools for modern life.But we should make good use of it to be"healthy"users rather than Phubbers.(怎样正确地使用好手机.)
点评 短文首先结合现代人使用手机的现象,说明了人们使用手机给生活带来的危害,接着告诉人们怎样正确地使用好手机.条理分明,层次清楚.短文包含了提纲的所有信息,语句通顺,意思连贯.文中用了while doing,instead of,rather than等等结构,给短文增色不少.
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