Are we too quick to blame and slow to praise? It seems that while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow unwilling to give others the warm sunshine of praise.
It’s strange how mean we are about praising. Perhaps it’s because few of us know how to accept praise gracefully . Instead , we are embarrassed and ignore the words we are really so glad to hear. Because of this defensive reaction, direct praise is surprisingly difficult to give.
Do you ever go into a house and say, “ What a tidy room!” Hardly anybody does. That’s why housework is considered such a boring job. Shakespeare said, “ Our praises are our wages.” Since so often praise is the only wage a housewife receives, surely she is worthy of praise.
Mothers know naturally that for children an ounce of praise is worth a pound of scolding. Still, we are unaware of children’s small achievements and we seldom apply the rule. One day I was criticizing my children for quarrelling. “Can you never play peacefully?” I shouted. Susanna looked at me confused. “ Of course I can,” she said. “But you don’t notice us when we do.”
Teachers agree about the value of praise. “ I believe that a student knows when he has handed in something above his usual standard,” writes a teacher, “ and that he is hungry for a belief comment in the margin to show him that the teacher is aware of it, too.”
Behavioral scientists have done countless experiments to prove that people have a tendency to repeat an act which has been immediately followed by a pleasant result. In one such experiment, a number of schoolchildren were divided into three groups and given arithmetic tests daily for five days. One group was constantly praised for its previous performance; another group was criticized; the third was ignored. Not surprisingly, those who were praised improved dramatically. Those who were criticized improved ,too, but not so much. And the scores of the children who were ignored hardly improved at all. Interestingly, the brightest children were helped just as much by criticism as by praise, but the less able children, who reacted badly to criticism, needed praise the most.
To give praise costs the giver nothing but a moment’s thought and a moment’s effort—perhaps a quick phone call to pass on good comments , or write an appreciative letter. It is such a small investment—and yet consider the results it may produce. We will not only bring joy into other people’s lives, but also, very often, added happiness into our room.” I can live for two months on a good compliment.” said Mark Twain.
Title : Profits of Praise
Theme
| Compared with_____小题1:_____ , praise should be valued and appreciated more.
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Reasons for unwillingness
to give praise
| We feel embarrassed and ignore the words pleasant to our ears____小题2:___ than accept them gracefully.
We have ____小题3:____ giving direct praise because of our so-called defensive reaction.
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Importance of praise in some cases
| A housewife ___小题4:____ to be praised for her sacrifices and devotion .
A mother is supposed to be aware of their children’s small achievements and ___小题5:___ the rule of giving praise.
A student waits ____小题6:____ for a good comment from his teacher when he hands in his homework above his usual standard.
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Findings of experiments on profits of praise
| Everybody___小题7:____ to repeat an act if praised more often.
Those who receive constant praise have made dramatic improvement.
Unlike brilliant children, less able children ___小题8:___ badly to criticism desperately need praise.
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________小题9:_______
| It pays to make a moment’s ___小题10:_____ to pass on praise, for it brings added joy and happiness to our lives as well as others’.
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