Question

If you want to teach your children how to say sorry, you must be good at saying it yourself, especially to your own children. But how you say it can be quite tricky.
If you say to your children "I'm sorry I got angry with you, but...", what follows that "but" can make the apology ineffective:"I had a bad day" or "your noise was giving me a headache" leaves the person who has been injured feeling that he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology.
Another means by which peaple appear to apologize without actually doing so is to say "I'm sorry you're upset"; this suggests that you are somehow at fault for allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done.
Then there is the general, all-covering apology, which avoids the necessity of identifying a specific act that is particularly hurtful or insulting, and which the person who is apologizing should promise never to do again. Saying "I'm useless as a parent" does not commit a person to any specific improvement.
These pseudo-apologies(假道歉) are used by people who believe saying sorry shows weakness. Parents who wish to teach their children to apologize should see it as a sign of strength, and therefore not take these pseudo-apologies.
But even when presented with examples of real apology, childfen still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry.  A three-year-old might need help in un- derstanding that other children feel pain just as he does, and that hitting a playmate over the head with a heavy toy requires an apology. A six-year-old might need reminding that spoiling other children's expectations can require an apology. A 12-year-old might need to be shown that destroying the biscuit tin without asking permission is acceptable, but that
borrowing a parent's clothes without permission is not.
【小题1】If a mother adds "but" to an apology, ________.

A．the child may find the apology easier to accept

B．the child may feel that he owes her an apology

C． she promises never to do it again

D．she does not realize that the child has been hurt

【小题2】According to the author, saying "I am sorry you are upset" most probably means “_______”

A．You have good reason to get upset

B．I apologize for hurting your feelings

C．I am at fault for making you upset

D．I am aware you are upset, but I am not to blame

【小题3】It is not advisable to use the general, all-covering apology because _______.

A． it is not clear and ineffective

B． it is hurtful and insulting

C． it may make the other person feel faulty

D．it gets one into the habit of making empty promises .

【小题4】We learn from the last paragraph that in teaching children to say sorry_______

A．the complexities involved should be ignored

B．parents need to set them a good example

C．their ages should be taken into account

D．parents should be patient and tolerant

【小题5】It can be inferred from the passage that apologizing properly is________.

A．a sign of social,progress

B．not as simple as it seems

C．not necessary among family members.

D．a social issue calling for immediate attention

Answer 1

【小题1】B
【小题2】D
【小题3】A
【小题4】C
【小题5】B

解析试题分析：本文是告诫父母们如何教导孩子向人道歉，父母应该如何言传身教，在需要的时候真诚地向孩子道歉，从而起到榜样作用。最后一段讲述父母们应该使孩子们明白在何种情境下需要道歉。
【小题1】细节理解题。根据第二段首先指出在道歉之后说 but的直接结果：what follows that “but” can render the apology ineffective，but后面的话可能会使道歉无法产生效果。而后作者对出现这一结果的原因做了解释，以“我今天过得不好”、“你吵闹的声音让我头 疼”这二句为例，说明这些话会让孩子认为“he should be apologizing for his bad behavior in expecting an apology”，意思是他也应该为引来父母的道歉而表示道歉。故选 B
【小题2】细节理解题。根据第三段第一句举出“表面道歉实际没有道歉”的另一个例子，即I’m sorry you’re upset。第二句分析了这句话暗含的意思。前半句you are somehow at fault for基本呈现出了主谓宾结构，“你是有错的，因为……”for后面是“你也有错”的原因。原因是Allowing yourself to get upset by what the other person has done，直译过来是“允许你自己变得烦恼，被其他人的所作所为”，与全句联系起来的意思是“因为别人做了某事，你就变得烦恼，对此你自己是有责任的”，言下之意是换个人面对这种事就不会烦恼，你烦恼只能是你的错。故选D。
【小题3】细节理解题。根据第四段可知道歉过于空泛，使人不知道该在哪里改进，也就谈不上改进。故选A。
【小题4】细节理解题。根据childfen still need help to become aware of the complexities of saying sorry. 如何告诉孩子识别应当道歉的情境，以三个年龄的孩子为例进行论述，这就说明应当把年龄问题加以考虑，故选C。
【小题5】推理判断题。根据一开始指出父母向孩子道歉时应该讲究技巧，所用的词是tricky，而后用了数段具体讲述应当如何讲究技巧，可见适宜的道歉方式并不简单。而父母们往往做不好这一点，即是因为它看似简单，故选B。
考点：人生百味类短文阅读。
点评：推理判断题需要考生正确的阅读短文对语篇有个整体的把握。会根据语句之间的逻辑关系、段内的语义关系及篇章的语义关系，从段落、篇章的角度理解文章的主旨、作者的观点和态度。做此类试题要善于抓住某一段话中的关键信息，即某些关键词或短语去分析、推理、判断，利用逆向思维或正面推理，从而推断出这句话所隐含的深层含义。