How to be a good listener
Everyone loves a good listener. But there are more reasons to develop the skill of listening than to win hearts or popularity contests.
Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from our own point. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.
As it turns out, there’s more to good listening than just keeping quiet and allowing someone to speak. Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying (确认).
Even when we’ve managed to hear a person’s entire message, we often interpret it wrong—according to our own understanding, experience, or prejudice.
As an effective listener, your goal is to hear and absorb what another has to say…in exactly the way they mean it to be understood. Only then can you respond properly.
This is much easier read than done, so here are a few helpful tips:
1. Give the speaker your full attention.
Stop talking and remove all distractions. Turn off the TV, your phone, or computer. Watch your body language. The way you look at the speaker, or the way you stand or sit, makes a huge difference. The right listening body language communicates that we are listening openly and attentively, and puts the other person at ease.
2. Be patient.
Not everyone is a gifted speaker. Some people take longer to find the right word to make a point. Others are too worried to get their message across properly. If necessary, ask the speaker to explain further. It will help him / her speak more exactly and it will help you hear and understand better.
3. Keep your emotions in check.
If what someone is saying creates an emotional response in you, make an extra effort to listen carefully. When we’re angry, frightened or upset, we often miss key parts of what is being said.
4. Hold your fire.
Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. A good listener doesn’t react until comprehension is complete. If you respond in a way that makes the other person defensive, even if you “win” the argument, you may lose something far more valuable.
5. Even if you think you understand. VERIFY.
Never assume you got the message right. Pause, think about what was said, and then ask “Is this what you meant?” or “Am I understanding this right?”
6. Empathize.
Take a moment to stand in the other person’s shoes, to look at the situation from his / her point of view…especially when you’re being told something personal or painful, or something you strongly disagree with. The more shoes you are able to successfully stand in within your life time, the less puzzled you’ll find your life and relationships to be.
1. of good listening |
2.hurts. Building 3.. Allowing us to4.and empathize, and viewing the world in an all-round way. Bringing us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. 5.the people around us feel worthy. |
Components of effective listening |
Good listening consists of two key communication skills: 6.and verifying. |
7. to be a good listener |
Listening to the speaker8.. Trying to be a 9.listener. Avoiding being affected by your emotions. Waiting before you take 10.. Verifying. Empathizing. |
1.Effects/Advantages/ Benefits
2.Healing
3.bridges
4.understand
5.Making
6.listening
7.Ways/Tips
8.attentively
9.patient
10.action
【解析】
试题分析:文中叙述了要怎样做才能当一个好的听众,给出了六条建议。
1.根据Listening heals hurts and builds bridges. It gives us the ability to understand and empathize, to view the world from our own point. It can bring us wisdom over and above mere intelligence. But most importantly, it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.我们可知这是说的是听的好处。
Effects/Advantages/ Benefits
2.根据Listening heals hurts 可知填heal的适当形式,与下文Building...
Allowing …和Bringing…的形式相一致所以用Healing.
3.根据builds bridges故用bridges.
4.根据It gives us the ability to understand故用understand.
5.it allows us to give the people around us the gifts they crave (渴望) most—a sense of worth.与上文的Building和Allowing的形式一致故用Making.
6.根据Effective listening is actually a combination of two key communication skills: listening and verifying (确认).故用listening.
7.根据This is much easier read than done, so here are a few helpful tips.故用
Ways/Tips
8.根据Give the speaker your full attention这里修饰动词所以用副词attentively.
9.根据Be patient.故用patient.
10.根据Hold your fire. Don’t jump to conclusions immediately. A good listener doesn’t react until comprehension is complete. 故用action.
考点:这是一篇记叙文。
点评:对于任务性阅读相对于前面的阅读来说是容易的,考查考生阅读能力,分析总结理解的能力。考查词汇了的用法及它们的派生词的用法,需要考生有扎实的基础知识。
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In France
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Food, art ,music and current events or history are welcome topics. The French believe in freedom. You can criticize anyone, but not Napoleon, who is a symbol of French spirit, and never use the standard U.S. opening remark “ What do you do?”
In Australia
Australians tend to be enthusiastic debaters. A wide range of topics may be open to discussion, including religion and politics. The best policy, however, is to wait for Australian companions to bring up subjects: be prepared to hear their arguments.
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In Switzerland
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1.According to the passage, when talking you are advised_______.
A. to discuss the heated issue with the French
B. not to use sporting comparison with Australians
C. to have the Australians start a subject
D. not to ask people of the three countries personal questions
2.We can learn from the passage that___________.
A. Australians may not show off their education before others
B. Australians like to criticize other people
C. you can express your ideas for everything you know little about to the French
D. you can criticize anyone in France because you have freedom
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A. How to adapt to the life abroad.
B. What to argue about with foreigners.
C. How to find better topics.
D. What to talk about with foreigners.
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A. effective communication with foreigners
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A.Each child got an important job.
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A.Parents who are a child’s first teachers. |
B.A class where teens learn mothering and are mothered. |
C.A nonprofit agency that offers a more secure life. |
D.A kind teacher who help homeless young mothers. |
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A.help homeless young mothers become good parents |
B.provide homeless young mothers with a warm shelter |
C.help mothers in New York be good parents |
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A.She has a mother of five and a grandmother. |
B.She thinks a crying baby should be picked up and hugged. |
C.She teaches advanced skills on how to be good mothers. |
D.She is very glad for the warmth and shelter of Covenant House. |
4. According to the World Health Organization, which country has the highest births for girls age fifteen to nineteen?
A.Canada |
B.the United States of America |
C.Mexico |
D.Britain |
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1.Some friendships don’t last very long because ________.
A.there are too many people who want to make friends. |
B.some people receive friendship but don’t give friendship back. |
C.those who give others friendship receive friendship from others. |
D.they don’t know friendship is something serious. |
2.According to the passage honesty is ___________.
A.something countable |
B.the base of friendship |
C.as important as money |
D.more important than anything else |
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B.Sharing your mind with your friends is of great value. |
C.Discussing your problems with your friend often helps to solve the problem. |
D.A friend who gives you his lunch money is a true friend. |
4.The best title of this passage is __________.
A.Honesty is the Best Policy |
B.A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed |
C.How to be Friend |
D.Three Important Points in Life |
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