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    How to see yourself objectively

    Looking at ourselves objectively isn’t easy.  71   Here are some tricks I use to get a more accurate picture of myself.

    Look up, not down. It’s always easy to make yourself look good by finding people even worse than you.　Yes, we agree, you’re not the worst person in the world. That’s not the question. The question is whether you can get better.   72    

    Criticize yourself.  73   If they’re right to be afraid, then you need to start by working on that. People will feel more comfortable telling you the truth if you start by criticizing yourself, showing them that it’s OK.

    Find honest friends. It’s important to find friends who you can trust to tell you the cruel truths about yourself.  74   Some people have had success providing an anonymous(匿名的) form for friends to write down their objective opinions.

    75    Since it’s so difficult to find friends who will honestly criticize you, you need to listen extra-carefully when they do. For example, if one friend says the short story you wrote isn’t very good, you might show it to some other friends and ask them what they think .Wow, they all think it’s great! But the fact is that most of your friends are going to say it’s great because they’re your friends. By just taking their word for it, you end up ignoring the one person who’s actually being honest with you.

    A. Take the outside view.

    B. Listen to the criticism.

    C. Be willing to believe the worst about yourself.

    D. But it’s necessary if we ever want to get better.

    E. This is really hard because most people don’t like telling cruel truths.

    F. And to do that you need to look at the people who are even better than you.

    G. The main reason people don’t tell you what they really think of you is that they’re afraid of your reaction.

       

     DFGEB

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