Question

假设你是李华，几天前你从某国外网站购买了一支录音笔，现在你发电子邮件到该网站反映以下问题：1.音质不太清楚；2.操作不简便；3.经常出问题。
期待的解决办法：1.退货退款；2.修理或调换。
注意：1.字数不得少于100字，开头结尾不计入总字数；
2.可适当增加细节，试行文连贯；
3.参考词汇 录音笔  recording pen
Dear Sir or Madam,
                                                                            
                                                                            
                                                                            
Best wishes,
Yours,
li Hua

Answer 1

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to tell you something about the recording pen . I bought it from your website several days ago .However , there seems to be something wrong with it .First , the voice isn’t so clear as you claimed .Second ,it’s not easy to operate , which has caused me much trouble .What I expect is a human –friendly one. Third , it often breaks down , while a recording pen at such a price shouldn’t have had so many problems.
Due to its poor quality and much inconvenience it has caused, I wonder whether you can do something about it .I would appreciate it very much if I can get my money back . I’ll send it back to you as soon as you return the money to me. If it can’t be helped, I wish you could have it repaired or changed.
I’m looking forward to your early reply .
Best wishes,
Yours ,
Li Hua

试题分析：本篇书面表达是要求写封电子邮件，反映所购买产品的质量问题。电子邮件是人们日常生活中常用的一种应用文体，同学们应该对写作格式很熟悉，但是在写作时要注意以下方面：一. 因为是反映问题，所以要求语言简洁，条理清楚，把存在的问题和自己的要求表达准确；二. 虽然产品存在问题，但是语言仍要委婉，礼貌显示出作者的修养；三. 时态方面，因为是叙述产品现在存在的问题，所以可以用一般现在时态，期待解决办法部分可以使用将来时态。四. 注意适当增加细节，使语言更为通顺，行文更为连贯。
【亮点说明】文章要点全面，详略得当。关联词语 first。。。second 。。。third 等词的使用使文章层次分明，脉络清楚。其次, 文中定语从句which has caused me much trouble . 并列句while a recording pen at such a price shouldn’t… 条件状语从句if I can get my money back和主语从句等的使用丰富了范文的句式，也成了文章的一大亮点。此外, 作者在表述要求和解决办法时使用了I wonder whether…; .I would appreciate it very much if…和I wish you could…等等，这些委婉的措辞显得作者态度特别礼貌诚恳，使人不忍拒绝。