When you are at odds with someone close to you, the One-Minute Drill can show you how to express your feelings effectively – and how to listen more skillfully. All it requires is two individuals who are committed to improving their relationship.
Set aside at least ten minutes, and then sit facing each other. Decide who will be the Talker and who will be the Listener. It makes no difference, because later you will change roles.
How to perform the One-Minute Drill
For approximately 30 seconds, the Talker can say anything he or she wants. Your job will be to express your thoughts and feelings. You can discuss problems you've had a hard time talking about. Remember to limit yourself to about 30 seconds. When the Talker finishes, the Listener will summarize what the Talker just said, as well as how the Talker was feeling inside, as accurately as possible.
The Talker now gives the Listener a grade between 0 and 100 per cent to indicate how accurate the summary was. If the rating is 95 per cent or more, you can change roles; the new Talker can continue with the same topic or move on to something entirely new.
However, if the grade is below 95 per cent, the Talker should point out what the Listener missed or got wrong, and repeat the process until the overall rating is 95 per cent or more. Then you can change roles and repeat the exercise for as long as you both like.
How it works
Thirty seconds of emotionally charged information is sufficiently challenging for anyone. Express your feelings in strong, clear, direct language, but as your partner will be listening attentively, you won't need to shout, exaggerate or put your partner down.
The Listener should sit and listen respectfully without interrupting. Look into your partner's eyes, but avoid using negative body language. If you like, take a few notes.
So the Talker might say: "When I come home from work, I feel tired and I need some quiet time. But you tell me I'm supposed to spend time with the kids. This makes me feel frustrated. I work hard and I'm exhausted at the end of the day. I feel like I deserve a little time to relax, not listen to more demands."
In response, the Listener might summarize like this: "You just told me that you feel exhausted when you come home at night because you've been working hard all day. When I tell you I want you to spend time with the kids, you feel frustrated and
ticked off because you're tired and you need time to relax. You see me as very demanding, and you're probably feeling like I don't appreciate you."
The first time you attempt the One-Minute Drill, you may get a low score. Don't worry, because you'll get up to speed quickly. Once you've tried this exercise a few times, you'll find that you can nearly always get ratings of 95 per cent or better on the first or second try.
小题1: Who is the One-Minute Drill intended for?
| A．Those who are to act some roles in a certain play for the first time in their life. |
| B．Those who are preparing for the interview in order to make a good first impression. |
| C．Those who have difficulty communicating with their colleagues or family members. |
| D．Those who have troubled relationships with their friends or family members and try to improve them. |
小题2:Which of the following is NOT true?
| A．In the One-Minute Drill, the Talker and the Listener change roles in the process. |
| B．The Talker should talk about his / her thoughts and feelings in a brief way. |
| C．The Listener should listen carefully, respectfully and later summarize accurately. |
| D．After the Talker finishes talking, the Listener is to give him / her a grade. |
小题3:From the example given in “How it works,” we can guess that the talk might be between _____.
| A．husband and wife | B．father and son | C．mother and daughter | D．sister and brother |
小题4:What does the underlined part “
ticked off” probably mean in this reading?
| A．fast asleep | B．very angry |
| C．burst into tears | D．marked with a symbol |
d
ated