Question

3．假如你是班长，学期结束时你要给同学作简短的评价．你班的李华这个学期变化很大，请你根据提示写一篇简评．

过去	功课不好，常与同学争吵，垃圾被他撒的满地都是，课桌总是一团糟．
现在	自从老师和他沟通后，有了很大变化．（学习、与同学相处、生活…）
结果	父母、老师对他满意多了．
希望	…．

要求：
1）所写内容必须包括提供的所有信息，可适当发挥．
2）括号部分须用3、4句话展开合理想象，作适当发挥．
3）文章不少于90词，开头已给出，不计入总词数．
4）语气通顺，意思连贯，语法正确，条理清楚，字迹工整．
5）文中不得出现真实的姓名、校名及地名．
This term，Li Hua has changed a lot． In the past he didn't do well in his subjects．He often quarreled with his classmates．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．His desk was always in a mess．He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．Now he works hard at his lessons．He gets along well with his classmates．He often sweeps the floor．His parents and teachers are satisfied with him．I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．．

Answer 1

分析 这是一篇图表作文．内容是谈谈李华这个学期的变化．时态主要为一般现在时和一般过去时．人称主要为第三人称．
写作思路：考生需要首先审清主题，围绕主题展开作文．
其次考生可从以下几个方面展开作文，即本文的写作要点：
1过去：功课不好，常与同学争吵，垃圾被他撒的满地都是，课桌总是一团糟．
2现在：自从老师和他沟通后，有了很大变化．（学习、与同学相处、生活…）
3结果：父母、老师对他满意多了．
4希望
常用到的重点短语：
do well in 擅长
quarrel with sb 与某人争吵
in a mess 混乱
get along with  与某人相处
be satisfied with sb  对某人满意
【高分句型】
1．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．
一般过去时的被动语态was/were+过去分词．
2．He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．
since引导的时间状语从句．
3．I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．
hope后是省略了that的宾语从句．get good grades 取得好成绩．

解答 This term，Li Hua has changed a lot． In the past he didn't do well in his subjects．He often quarreled with his classmates．Rubbish was spread all over the floor by him．【高分句型】His desk was always in a mess．（过去：功课不好，常与同学争吵，垃圾被他撒的满地都是，课桌总是一团糟．）He has changed a lot since the teacher had communication with him．【高分句型】Now he works hard at his lessons．He gets along well with his classmates．He often sweeps the floor．（自从老师和他沟通后，有了很大变化．）His parents and teachers are satisfied with him．（父母、老师对他满意多了）I hope he will get good grades in the coming exam．【高分句型】（希望）

点评 本题要求写一篇给同学作的评价．本文所给材料比较详细．写作中注意将李华过去和现在的一些情况介绍清楚，并描述自己对他将来的希望．结合材料可知本文时态人称问题比较复杂，涉及过去，现在和将来三种时态，注意时态与时间状语的搭配问题及主谓一致问题．写作中注意使用连词，序数词，做到上下文联系紧密，符合逻辑关系．最后，注意不要犯语法、句法以及搭配性错误，写好后反复读几遍，适当修改．此类作文首先要做的就是认真阅读材料，不能跑题偏题．写作中注意一些基础的写作常识，不犯低级错误．只要平时积累足够，就一定能获得满意的分数．另外为了应付考试，可以有选择的背诵一些范文，这样应考时就会有法可依．