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【题目】书面表达

临近期末,学校将在学习小组内开展年终自评和组评活动,假如你是Moonlight小组的组长,请根据下面表格中的提示,用英语写一篇短文,对你的组员Jerry进行评价。

Name

Jerry (一个十五岁的初三学生)。

Characteristics

聪明、勤奋、大方、乐于助人。

Hobbies

看科幻小说;看体育节目。

Study

大部分精力投放到学习中……

Ability

擅长跑步,校运会第一名。

Honour

会讲故事,能写出好的小说,获得最佳小作者奖(Award for Best young writers)。

Problems

面临考试感到压力,缺少睡眠。

Your suggestions

自拟

注意: 1.词数:90词左右,开头已经写好,不计入总词数。

2.句子结构准确,要点齐全,内容合理,篇章结构连贯。

3.表达中不得出现真实的地名、校名和人名。

Jerry is a member of my team called Moonlight._________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

__________________________________________________

【答案】

Jerry is a member of my team called Moonlight. Everyone in our group likes him very much because he is smart and hard-working. It’s also generous of him to share things with us. He often helps us when we are in trouble.

In his free time he not only likes reading science fiction but also likes watching programmes about sports. But since this term he has devoted most of time to study and has made great progress.

He is good at sports especially running. He came first in the race of school sports meeting this year. He is such a good storyteller that he can write exciting novels. Because of this he was presented with “Award for Best young writers”.

But recently he has got some problems. He suffers from the coming exams. He feels so stressed that he can’t sleep well at night. I think that he worries too much and should arrange his time well so that he can achieve the confidence and pass the exams successfully. I hope you think my advice is worth taking.

【解析】

试题分析:这篇作文要求我们按照表格里的内容介绍一下Jerry的情况,为Jerry写一篇综合素质的评价报告。在表格中有非常详细的关于Jerry各方面的内容,我们需要用正确的英语把这些内容有条理的表达出来。表格中涉及的内容较多,写作时要注意表达的条理性。这篇作文应主要使用第三人称来写。在最后要给Jerry提一些建议,这一部分应该用第一人称。同时注意表达的准确性,尤其是表格中的第五项和第六项内容。

写作亮点:这是一篇比较优秀的范文。这篇作文内容完整,包含了表格中的所有内容,没有遗漏要点。表达准确,注意了被动形式的使用,如He was rewarded by our school this year.。写作时注意了条理性,使文章具有层次感,条理清楚。短文注意到了长短句的结合,并恰当的使用了一些连词,使文章表达的连贯。如He is always ready to help others.、He not only likes reading detective novels but also likes watching programs about sports news.、He is good at running. He won the first place in our school sports meeting this year.等

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