Question

阅读下面短文，按要求用英语写一篇150词左右的短文，向《21世纪报》中学生版投稿。
Florence Chadwick was born in California in 1918. She grew up on the beach and began competing as a swimmer at the age of six, when her uncle entered her in a race. For the next 19 years, she continued as a competitive swimmer.
On July 4, 1952, at the age of 34, Chadwick attempted to become the first woman to swim 21 miles across the Catalina Channel, from a port on the California coast. That day the ocean was ice cold, the fog was so thick that she could hardly see the support boats that followed her, and sharks swam around her. Several times, her support crew used guns to drive away the sharks. While Americans watched on televisions, her mother and her trainer, who were in one of the support boats, encouraged her to keep going. However, after 15 hours and 55 minutes, with only a half mile to go, she felt that she couldn’t go on, and begged to be taken out of the water.
Later, Chadwick told a reporter, “Look, I’m not excusing myself, but if I had seen land I know, I could have made it.” The fog had made her unable to see her swimming goal, and it made her feel she was getting nowhere. Two months later, she tried again. Although the fog was still heavy, yet this time she made it with the goal rooted in her mind. She knew behind the fog was the land she pursued.
【写作内容】
1．以约30个词概括短文大意；
2．以约120个词就“Goal and Success”的主题谈谈你的看法，内容包括：
1）分析Chadwick第一次失败和第二次成功的原因；
2）Chadwick的故事对你有什么启发；
3）结合实际谈谈如何实现自己的目标。
【写作要求】
1．可以参照阅读材料的内容，但不得直接引用原文中的句子；
2．作文中不能出现真实姓名和学校名称。

Answer 1

An American woman swimmer Chadwick succeeded in crossing the Catalina Channel after failing in her first attempt. It was a goal in her mind that enabled her to make it. (30词)
Chadwick failed in her first attempt because she couldn’t see the “land” (goal) due to the “fog” (difficulty). But later, she succeeded because she had “the goal rooted in her mind” despite the heavy “fog”.
From the story, we know we should understand the relation between the goal and the difficulty. The goal can encourage us to work hard to achieve success while the difficulty may prevent us from reaching our goal. However, we can achieve our goal by overcoming any possible difficulties.
As students, we may meet with many difficulties in our study, but we can surely overcome them if we have a clear goal. I wish all of us could break through the “fog” to reach the beautiful “land”. (121词)

试题分析：本文属于读写任务写作，动笔前，一定要认真阅读原文，并理解内容。认真看清题目要求，这篇书面表达给了一段材料：先要求以约30个词概括上文的主要内容，要求有很高的概括提炼的能力，要抓住文章的主题，再以约120个词写一篇短文，按照要点去表达，不能有遗漏，写作时注意准确运用时态，上下文意思连贯，符合逻辑关系。写作时尽量使用自己会的单词、词组和句型，同时也要注意使用一些高级语法和句型，使自己的文章更有文采。
【亮点说明】范文首先简洁的归纳了原文的主旨大意，然后展开论述，观点明确，有理有据，不乏好的短语和句子：succeeded in 成功地做…，due to因为，prevent sb. from doing阻止某人做…， It was a goal in her mind that enabled her to make it.这句话用了强调句， The goal can encourage us to work hard to achieve success while the difficulty may prevent us from reaching our goal. 这句话用了while表示对比的关系， As students, we may meet with many difficulties in our study, but we can surely overcome them if we have a clear goal. 这句话用了but连接的并列句和if引导的时间状语从句。I wish all of us could break through the “fog” to reach the beautiful “land”. 这句话用了虚拟语气。