Question

近年来，随着私家车的增加，城市交通越来越拥挤。在中、小学生上学或放学时，校门口以及学校附近拥挤问题更加严重。这给学生、教师、家长和其他市民带来许多不便。尤其值得注意的是，学校附近的交通堵塞也存在不可忽略的隐患。为此，这引起了不少民众的担忧。你作为一名在校学生，署名张小明，根据以下要点写一封英语信，向本校英语报投稿
1. 为什么要写这封英语信。
2. 你们学校门口及附近交通拥挤的原因。
3. 提出二至三条建议。
注意：词数120左右。开头部分已给，不计入总词数。
Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss …
                                                                                
                                                                                
                                                                                

Answer 1

Dear Editor,
I’m Zhang Xiaoming, a student from Grade 3. I am writing to discuss the traffic problem near our school gate.
With so many parents coming to pick up their children, traffic jams are frequent near the school gate, causing much inconvenience to us students as well as our teachers and passers-by. Many people have been worrying about the hidden traffic problems. So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken. First, we should encourage students to ride their bicycles or walk to school by themselves instead of taking cars, which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health as well. It is also a good idea to allow junior students to leave school 10 minutes earlier than others. Besides, cars should not be allowed to park near the school gate.
I do hope my suggestions can be considered and the problem can be solved soon.
Yours, 
Zhang Xiaoming

试题分析：本题是常见的书信类作文。作文要求就私家车带来的交通拥挤和存在的安全隐患写一封信。作文必须包含所给要点：写这封信的原因；校门口交通拥挤的原因；提出建议。注意1. 开门见山地点明所要阐述的内容。2. 分析不同的观点：可采用分类式或对比式，并阐明理由。要注意层次清楚条理清晰。3. 归纳总结或发表评论。考生在写作之前必修认真审题，首先要注意文章的时态。不能根据材料逐字逐句的翻译应该注意句子的衔接，以提高作文的档次。注意书信的格式要正确，使用第一人称进行写作。不要出现拼写、标点错误；注意时态和语法知识的正确运用。
【亮点说明】范文注意使用First, Besides来表示列举，显得条理清晰；范文使用了一些重要的语法知识：with复合结构With so many parents coming to pick up their children；非谓语动词causing much inconvenience to us；现在完成进行时Many people have been worrying about...；虚拟语气So I strongly recommend some effective and urgent measures be taken.；定语从句which will not only help reduce the jam but benefit students’ health等，巧妙地运用了非谓语动词、定语从句等语法知识，构思巧妙，句式多样，提升了作文的档次；范文还使用了一些固定短语：pick up；as well as；instead of；take measures；not only...but also；as well等，是作文内容充实；范文还使用助动词do表示强调(I do hope...)，加强了语气，表明了作者解决交通隐患的坚定立场。