Question

假如你是我市一名高三学生李华，你打算报考一所外语学院。你在网络上看到上海外国语学院的招生信息(admission information)，并对此非常感兴趣。根据招生要求，你需要用英语撰写一份个人申请报告，内容应包括：
1．记述自己的个性特长及取得的成果；
2．说明进入大学后的努力方向及设想等。
注意：1.词数：120 -150；开头与结尾已经给出，不计人总词数。
2．可适当增加细节，以使行文连贯。
Dear Sir or Madam,
I'm writing to apply to study in your university.
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________________________________
I'm looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours．
Li Hua

Answer 1

Dear Sir or Madam,
I’m writing to apply to study in your university. I read about the admission information while surfing the net the other day. I’m really interested in it.
I’m an outgoing girl and I can get on well with all my classmates. I do well in most of my subjects, especially in English. I like reading English poems and enjoy English movies. Speeches delivered by famous people like Martin Luther. King, President Bush and so on, are also my favorite. I once won the first prize for English Speech Contest held in our city and was honored the Best Speaker for my excellence performances.
As we all know, English is a universal language and I like to communicate with different people, so I intend to major in English if I am admitted into your university. I want to have a job relating with languages in the future and I believe I can help promote cultural communication between China and the world.
I’m looking forward to hearing from you soon.
Yours,
Li Hua

试题分析：这是一篇提纲类书面表达，文章的要点也基本上都给出来了，但是不是很具体，考生要根据要点进行拓展发挥，不能有遗漏，内容一定要充实，这就要求增加了难度。在写作的过程中，要注意使用高级词汇和高级句型，如强调句，倒装句等，让文章更上档次。同时在列举措施的时候要使用合适的连接词如：First，second， Besides, What’s more等，让文章看起来很有条理，也很流畅。本篇文章在写作时不要啰嗦，力求简洁。
【亮点说明】所给范文语言简洁，运用了一些词组和好的句子：get on well with和…相处好，intend to打算，major in主修，be admitted into被录取， I read about the admission information while surfing the net the other day. 这句话用了省略句， Speeches delivered by famous people like Martin Luther. King, President Bush and so on, are also my favorite. I once won the first prize for English Speech Contest held in our city and was honored the Best Speaker for my excellence performances. 这两句话用了过去分词做定语， As we all know, English is a universal language and I like to communicate with different people, so I intend to major in English if I am admitted into your university.这句话用了非限制性定语从句， I want to have a job relating with languages in the future and I believe I can help promote cultural communication between China and the world. 这句话用了现在分词做定语。